My Search

~ a relentless seeker

questions of existence in my genes

a voice searching to befriend certainty

unsettling is this planet where I have arrived

my soul’s choice of temporary insanity

I ask no more the questions why and how

I know no more the answers to my clouds

My companion — a sense of renewed ancientness

I feel the placid truth of simplicity

A simplicity which is mine not to obsess

ownership leads to wavering centeredness

I promised my souls through this non-existing time

that love, honor, truth are all there is to re-find

So will you sing with me, will you dance

will you hold my gentle hand as I prance

I do so love the poetry of rhyme

it pleasures my heart and stimulates my mind

in prose I feel the motions of the heart

in poetry I play with all that is art

for in my expressions I celebrate the “highest love”

a “familiarity with answers” placed too far above

I am energy, I am life, I am honesty, I am strife

To come to here I battled my illusions

found a map deep within my contusions

So here I am inside out

no more pied pipers for this blinded crowd

I feel the promise of a universal truth

as I listen to the silence of my new flute…

~ “Euphoria - A Journey Unravels”, my voyage in poetry (2002).

Meet Grace. She is our experience of the “highest love”… “a familiarity with answers” we’ve mistakenly placed too far above us. She is an experience beyond everyday experiences of our physical world… an experience independent of external formulation or proof and, most profoundly, undeniable once experienced.

GRACE: God Reality As Contained Energy, as I refer to it, is an “episode of heaven” in the here and now of life… perfection in the midst of imperfections… a blissful perspective through a deep awakening… sometimes for a moment, sometimes for more than a moment, sometimes for recurring moments, sometimes for a lifetime. I call these liberating experiences kisses, whispers and embraces of GRACE. It is divine presence filling you all up inside, right up through your eye balls, so that you can recognize the same energy that exists also on the outside all around you!

To have experienced grace is to feel a very deep, light-yet-powerful, grounding sense of “Life is Love… simply beautiful and whole exactly as it is.” It is a knowing that “All is perfect right now,” as described by a friend. And all is unfolding as a process of perfection. Obviously, to believe this, and as a result to find ones exalted liberation and joy in this knowing, one requires the graceful experience that offers doubt-removing clarity. And what such experiences try to offer is the chance to let go of your own out-of-control mind’s self-imposed suppressing burdens and baggage so that you are free to acknowledge and practice the limitless beauty of a world of creative possibilities in every day life. Grace is available for human experience, sometimes seemingly unexpectedly, sometimes with some effort on our part, and sometimes both. And the reason there is no one formula for when or how one experiences this profound God’s reality as contained energy is, in my opinion, because the divine forces are always looking to enter through our little and big open doorways (spaces of humility and degrees of surrender or mindlessness)… and since free-will is the gift of our lives, we have to find ourselves in the frequency that matches the transmission of the divinely liberating, creative, and inspiring energy… our highest self… our inner being.

We will show them our proofs in the horizon, and within themselves, until they realize that this is the truth. ~ Quran 41:53

The proof is in the pudding… which basically means… the experience speaks for itself.

These kisses, whispers and embraces are glimpses into (tastes of) what is always within us… a knowing, a wisdom, a love, that is our foundation– secure, whole, joyful, at peace –overlooked in the external busi-ness that we have allowed to navigate our minds and lives and that keep us distracted and fragmented as we try to find our place of rest and completion outside of our own self.

When I found myself embraced by grace (like awesome amazing grace!) that led to lyrics in poetry everyday for over a month starting that 19^th of a November seven years ago, I experienced a lack-of-thought type of creativity – a joyful, natural openness and availability for the flow of expression through words that just found their way through me. I was an instrument, and yet, a skill I was born with was being utilized by a sweet, heavenly, holy energy (simple, pure, light energy). And I could feel this truth contained within me and within all that was around me… even in the air.

It is actually more than a “feeling” this grace. It is much deeper, much more tangible in its firmness and stability, it is a state of being in a place within your self, and even in the way you are able to see the world around, that you know undoubtedly is more you than anything you have ever experienced. You are home. You are heaven. You are peace. You are joy. You are yes. You are unquestionable truth.

You are high at times but not a low… just a leveling off at peace. You are ease; you are freedom; you are the life done away with worry or stress; you are timelessness of the mind even while efficiently and effectively functioning in a world that requires you to be on time; you are knowing there is plenty for each and we are not here to compete; you are aware of the unlimited reality; you are realization of success without external world profit; you are love where there used to be fear; you are a center offering needed attention rather than a void that needs to be the center of attention; you are the truth of infinity within and without; you are undoubtedly where all things hellish have no reality.

You are beauty. You are creativity. You make way for more beauty and creativity. You are beautiful music and sweet cozy silences. You are a dance. You are actually bending down to smell the flowers knowing they are present and ready to share their fragrance with you.

You are able to accept that which is not, and move on with faith in a universe that cares and knows best. You are whole even when alone. You are joyful in your sharing and communing. You are ready and grateful for all life has to offer and all that you have to offer life. You are full of life in its cheerfulness, even in the midst of no activity or companionship. You are cheerfulness in companionship through example of love and purity.

You are an intimate knowing between you and god. You are divinity in human experience. You are personally in the company of God. You are communicating with god as god communicates with you. You are born again, not merely as some church label, but as an actual experience. You are hearing, feeling, touching, smelling a god that doesn’t need a name. You are joy from faith in knowing through experience the unknown that is ready to be known in every now.

You are young at heart with the spirit of an open-minded child. You are an untainted artist.

You are FUN… Forget Uns Now—because fun equals forgetting the un thoughts in every now… thoughts that are unnecessary, unknown, unhappy, unreal, underestimating, untrue, unholy, undermining, unrealized, unsatisfactory… all such thoughts are the mind-manufactured drama keeping you from your fun–your creative, peaceful, loving, joyful, happy being.

You are Love.

Someone once said, “Love is a choice, happiness a discipline.” Discipline is a way of living. And might I add that the disciplined (conscious, aware, happy) practice of love is a salute to Grace.

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this is not from yourselves, it is a gift of God, so that no one can boast. ~ Ephesians 2:8-9