You were my most perfect neighbor

Always there when I knocked on your door

Ready to lend me whatever my need

“as a gift” you’d say

and I would return for your kind love even more

Frightened me to think you might move away some day

the many nights we spent… in conversation… in silence

weeks, months, years… many, many passed

your presence was my best friend, my deepest reassurance

what is it about you?

is it the comfort of your place?

is it the many years of familiarity?

or the wisdom in your face?

Your silences and words always re-turned me to center

in you… i had found… my heaven sent mentor

Then

one awful day

you were gone

I knocked

Banged        yelled       and i C-a-l-l-e-d

I screamed at your door I searched every hall

And through my tears i walked into a wall

What have you done, where did you go?

I searched through cracks and crevices

for reasons you were no more

how cold it is without your fireplace

how cold without your sweet embrace

can anyone please help make sense of this

dear god WHY???… i can’t deal with this stress!

Then i heard your voice

from somewhere        somewhere else

Where are you? WHERE ARE YOU?! WHY did you leave?

(I am here my love, where I have always been)

I looked at your door and found a wall

I looked around and around     around    and around

(You’ll get dizzy                be careful     slow down           close your eyes!)

Don’t tease me! I cried. I don’t care for pretend advice!

(Your trust has been misplaced, my dear sweet one

In your fantasy you slowly made me an outside person

But it is time to re-find me where i truly am

Close your eyes, look inside you, release this madman.)

My spinning suddenly stopped on the out of my side

Like a roadblock the Truth hit me, halted me in fright

I felt a dizziness emerge from the deepest within

a sense of confused clarity, i began understanding

I looked up and around

found myself no longer imprisoned

so it is i who has been here

those were my own illusions

it was within me all the while

your voice that rang so clear

Why did I create you then?

Why this crazy behavior?

(For the reasons I created you

to understand myself better

It is much easier to live ones life when looking to another

yet Knowing is only possible when one looks into a mirror

So use this private lesson

use it to repair

Within you is all you need

to truly not be scared

live a little braver

sing a little louder

dance a little harder

express yourself fuller

For in these celebrations

is the joy of your sweet being,

within you are the answers

to all of life’s true meaning.

Heed not what man craves

Trust in your own senses

Do whatever with your life

for in you is my residence.

But if you do not hear me

do not pretend i have left

Look for my presence

where you sense me best.

Oh and take this, as a gift, it is the only truth that matters…….

I love you……. in every moment

I love you, regardless…)