Goshtaba, Pasanda and Tabak Maas:

On my several visits to the valley, there was one unwritten law. Always go to a Kashmiri’s house with an empty stomach. They will feed you till you are ‘fed’ up !

I had a taste of the Kashmiri Hospitality (Mehman Navazi) very early on. We were driving through Anant Nag, when my friend Anil Raina, wanted me to meet some of his friends who lived there. It was about 4 pm. We asked our driver Abdul to pull over and stay parked as this would be a quick visit.

Since this was an unannounced visit to the house, we missed Anil’s friend, but met his wife and kids. She seated us in her living room- extremely clean, and brightly decorated. The red Kashmiri carpet actually made the room very pleasant  with the winter breeze passing through the superbly designed windows, enabling free flowing ventilation. Zoonie, as she was introduced to us, was very happy to see us there- “What kind of tea will you have ?” she asked us-  “Namkin Chai ? ya Kehwa ?” Kashmiri’s love their tea and I really fancy the Kehwa, so Kehwa it was. Anil wanted Namkin Chai (and even though both processes are elaborate, she made the two cups). She disappeared in the kitchen and returned in a jiffy. 2 dinner plates filled with an assortment of pastries,  cakes and biscuits; all baked at the local bakery.

About 10 minutes later, she brought me the most wonderful kehva, I have had. We chatted for a bit and then I asked her permission to leave- With great disbelief she looked at me and said, “Wait, you cant leave as yet- I am getting some Kebabs made” – “No thank you” I said- ‘You already have taken so much trouble- The cakes and biscuits are great- specially the Kaju and almond ones” I cant eat anymore, we’ve had a heavy lunch and a late one too !  Before I could get up to leave, she did something that really surprised me! She locked the door ! and then said something to Anil in Kashmiri, which he instantly translated for me- “ Tell your friends from Hindustan that Kashmiris are known for their hospitality. We love Indians- our problems are with Indian authorities!”  She had won me with this argument- I had to stay and eat the kebabs- Over 2kgs of meat on my plate- delicious but more than I could handle; obviously I had no heart to disappoint her, and so stuffed them all in; and when I did, she asked again- should I get you some more ?

Kashmiri’s are probably the most liberal off  the Islamic world !  Some of their women wear hijabs and some may cover their heads with plain simple dupattas, but I have never seen a single Kashmiri man eve tease a Kashmiri girl! I have never seen any kind of batameezi on any street in any place of Kashmir. We always tend to believe that Islam is very conservative and strict; but here was a Kashmiri Muslim girl who was all alone in the house, with three males, and was entertaining us in the purest sense of the world; flooring us with her candid and at times caustic observations whilst also serving us the most elaborate feast. I was impressed not just by the variety of kebabs, goshtabas, and meat items on our dishes, prepared with so much love and affection, but also the ability of this lady to intelligently discuss issues confidently, and articulately. This is kind of hospitality is almost extinct in India.  In Gujarat where I come from; an Amdvadi (A person from Ahmedabad) is such a miser, that he asks a guest if he would like water !  (It’s a joke, but I can vouch that it is partly true too)

This was the first of many instances in Kashmir where we were treated to almost a seven-course meal (all meat) even if we dropped in for a hello, and its certainly not about money and favors- Its genuine and straight from the heart.

In Lamhaa, I could not use this aspect of Kashmir, but I have, in a very important scene mentioned about their Mehman Navazi !